Why You May Not Be Ready for Marriage

The cold hard truth is that marriage is not for everyone. It’s a source of more than one of many great things this life has to offer – companionship, loyalty, conversation, partnership, family journeys, shared memories, security, and hopefully a supporting and loving circle.

On the other hand, a marriage executed and rooted in selfishness and uncompromise will be the source of many of life’s greatest obstacles – distrust, betrayal, loneliness, resentment, depression, regret, self-loathing, and possibly hatred.

Clichés are clichés for a reason – they’re rooted in something. And the cliché that ‘Marriage is Hard’ is also rooted in something – the never-ending line of difficult marriages.

Anything difficult takes time, practice, experience, and conscious effort to become proficient at. Riding a bike? Riding a motorcycle? Learning a new language? Becoming a good lawyer? Cirque de Soleil performer? Top Hollywood actor? A good school teacher? Neurosurgeon?

All are difficult – and they all require time, practice, experience, and a conscious effort. None of these skills or titles are simply bestowed upon their wielder.

A good spouse?

No less difficult. And takes no less time, practice, experience or effort.
Some people do not have the skills to maintain a healthy, positive, and thriving marriage.
But that’s okay – almost none of us have them when we say our vows. But we can learn.

Only through acknowledging the needed sacrifice it takes to serve another human being for the rest of your life, are you even close to being on the path of a truly successful marriage.

Many of us are simply not mentally prepared to see past the marriage ceremony or the phenomenal sex to really let that concept sink in.

Marriage is a commitment of service. Service to any great thing requires skill – patience, understanding, humility, humbleness, an open mind, the ability to work well with another person, the ability to trust.

If you are severely lacking in one or more of these crucial marriage skills, you may not be ready for that lifelong commitment of servitude.

If you cannot see yourself serving another human being, then you may not be ready for marriage.

If you are unable to receive someone else’s service and dedication, you may not be ready for marriage.
If you have never been married, yet already know everything it takes to have a successful marriage, you may not be ready for marriage – until you acknowledge you may have a lot more to learn.

If the backbone of your marriage plan is hope – hope that your spouse will change – hope that your spouse will meet their potential – hope that you will become better in the future – hope they will one day be honest – hope that the baby will change their perspective - then you may not be ready for marriage until your hope accompanies some tangible supporting actions.

There’s a reason so many marriages end in divorce, and the primary reason will always and forever start with the person reading these words.

Are you ready for marriage?